Inside Mrs. B's Classroom #3

“This is what school means to these kids. It’s their safe haven. So when you find out what chaos these children are coming from, consider where they have been when they have a hard time settling down to learn in your classrooms” (143).


After many months of teaching and trying to calm her 30-some students down to learn, Baldacci realized that their behavior was not exactly their fault. Their exposure to violence effected their behavior, caused peer problems, and low academic achievement. No one really encouraged the children to learn or succeed. Some teachers were giving up. They thought it was hopeless. Baldacci is one teacher that never gave up on her students. She believed that change was possible, that academic achievement was attainable, that the lives of these young children could be turned around. She noticed that these kids were living in a war zone. Few lived with both parents at home and many lived in foster homes and had no money for food. School provided them with food. If the school closed, the children would starve. This was their "safe haven" as Baldacci describes it. This was the only place they can act their age and she began to understand that. She tried to relate to them and support them because for many no one was there for them at home. She began to learn things about them she had never imagined. For example, one of her students told her she would never have a boyfriend because she was raped at the age of six. She was creating a special bond with them. Baldacci loved these kids, no matter how uncooperative they were some days. By the end of the year, she noted a decrease in behavioral problems and dramatic increase in academic achievement. She had taught them to resolve their problems face to face, in agreement, or through letters. She tried teaching them how to be real men and women, warriors against the violence of their community. They were growing into young men and women as their knowledge increased. She was giving them assignments that interested them. She had reading corners and read aloud to them each and every day. They saw movie versions of books and wrote papers about their identity. They were a hit at the Christmas program and won at the science fair. By the end of the year, almost all test scores improved. Baldacci was transforming these kids and improving their lives. She was succeeding in her mission as a teacher.

Inside Mrs. B's Classroom #2

Mrs. B created an assignment in which they listened to a few songs by Marvin Gaye. She asked: What things that Marvin Gaye protested against in 1971 are still problems today?

Here are some responses:
      "I think Marvin Gaye was saying 'Stop the violdence.' Nowadays, people are killing for the fun of it."
      "Things are still the same--hatred, killing robberies. I think things are never going to change"
      "Marvin Gaye is trying to set things right. He's trying to like send a message tothe parents and children to let them do the right thing."
      "Marvin Gaye was right. Too many people are dying. I think the boy was wrong, trying to take somebody's life away."

The fact that children were able to draw lines connecting the song to their lives is progress. It moved me that they recognized that the violence was only hurting them, their family, and friends. It is tragic that one student wrote "I think things are never going to change." There is no hope in some parts of Chicago; they think change is impossible. Children of America are instilled with fear and this exposure of violence only worsens the effects. These children are used to the violence and "killing for the fun" causing them to also act outwardly with violence. Violence becomes a way of life. They don't like living like this, yet they don't act and try to change their way of life. They don't understand that "it takes a real man to walk away from a fight." It takes real courage to fight back passively. It pains me to read about the truth and the reality, the lives of these kids. My life and their life are polar opposites. I would do anything to help them fight the violence and evil they are exposed to.

Inside Mrs. B's Classroom #1

The autobiography reminds me of the movie The Freedom Writers. A teacher documents her time as a teacher of a poverty-struck Chicago city school. First, she explains how she was a journalist of Sun Times and that she made the decision to act upon what she preached. She explains how it is so tragic that everyone says they are going to help the education of the Chicago public schools, but nothing ever happens. Mrs. B wanted to change that, so she left journalism and began researching the requirements to become a teacher. In the mean time, she received hundreds of calls and letters through the mail supporting her decision. Many called her a hero; she did not receive one bad review.


The more she looked into the Chicago schools, the more determination she had to make a difference as a teacher. She described the school as a “microcosm of the neighborhood. Pregnancy, drugs and alcohol were part of the life experience of children thirteen and fourteen years old. Parents had their own issues. Lives were consumed by the relentless stress and woe of poverty. Violence was omnipresent. The summer before, a serial killer had murdered prostitutes and left their bodies in abandoned houses. Gang shootings claimed players and innocents alike. Every family, it seemed, bore the scars of victims or perpetrators” (5). These kids were her heroes; they grew up being exposed to violence. These children had to be strong for their family and many raised themselves and their siblings alone. These children were warriors. 


The children makes me sympathize and appreciate my life. I never had to worry about gangs or violence on a daily basis. I have an amazing school district that ranks high. These children would do anything to have my life, yet here I was often complaining about how my my life "sucked." Baldacci opened my eyes to the real world.

My Identity

The United States of America is known as the country of opportunity, freedom, and diversity. In the early 1900s, U.S. was characterized as the “melting pot,” due to the wide range of cultures, religions, and race of its new citizens. At the end of the 19^th century, Greeks were settling in America, primarily in the urban setting that Chicago, New York, and other smaller cities offered.  Greeks, at first, were considered a minority and settled for the low-paying job. But after years and years of Americanization, brutal treatment, and wars, Greeks finally established themselves, creating a close-knit community, while staying involved with the rest of the world. The U.S. is one of many countries that Hellenes have immigrated to and it is crucial that the Greek culture and religion does not weaken as generations pass.

            This summer, participating in a special session of the “Hellenic Parliament of Youth,” I realized how many students of Hellenic descent lived in various regions of the world. I had the privilege to meet and create friendships with finalists that lived in the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Germany, Belgium, Hungary, Israel, Egypt, Sudan, Ethiopia, Congo, South Africa, and Australia. We shared stories and learned about each others’ birthplace and culture. All of us were trying to maintain our language, culture, and heritage. There were many similarities among us, but our lifestyles and experiences were very diverse. We defied national borders and connected the dots around the world with our common bond.

            This extraordinary experience has taught me the importance of maintaining a culture and heritage, while respecting other cultures and individuals from every background. This helps us grow as better citizens and individuals, becoming more tolerant and united as a nation that encourages diversity. Former President Bill Clinton emphasized the importance of an interdependent world, believing that “what we have in common is more important than our interesting differences. And the only way to celebrate and make the most of our differences is to get rich out of our differences.” We, too, are interdependent, yet I never understood this until now. This common thread brings the world together and defines who we are – being of Greek descent shapes my life and will hopefully shape children of other generations as well.

            Each year my eyes open wider and I see the world in a newer light. Working as a teacher’s aid for a Greek School, I have noticed a tremendous change between my parent’s generation, my generation, and the children in the classroom. I have detected a decreasing pride and care for being of Hellenic descent. I find this very tragic because everyone should embrace their ancestry, history, culture, heritage, and religion. By doing so, one is unique and has a defined identity. In order to retain this for generations to come, children need to be exposed to Greek Orthodoxy and Hellenism. One needs to be educated and attend Greek School. It is crucial to speak the beautiful, Greek language, and know the history of our ancestors and homeland, and that Greece was the birthplace of philosophers, democratic ideas, and art. One should embrace the unique, Greek culture and practice Greek Orthodoxy. One should attend church services regularly; celebrate Orthodox holidays; chant the Xristos Anesti hymn; dance traditional Greek dances; keep detailed, Greek architecture alive; read classic literature like The Iliad and The Odyssey; participate in annual Greek parades in the city; attend concerts of popular artists; visit museums; visit Greece, the homeland and birthplace of many ideas. One must strengthen their identity for the following generations and not be afraid of being different. A true Greek is a proud Greek that retains a religious and ethnic identity. Action needs to be taken in order for Hellenism to flourish and thrive, because there is no better feeling than to appreciate your original roots.

A new chapter begins

The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. This will be my new home in a little less than four months. It will transform into another home away from home. I never thought this would be my final decision, the University I choose to attend. I am more of a close-to-home and small classes kind of girl, so I am afraid for this upcoming fall, but also eager.

I will miss my family and friends tremendously, but I know I'm only a hop-skitch away. I know I will have the perfect college experience and won't regret my college decision. I am sure of this. When I visited, the environment felt perfect. It immediately clicked and I knew that this was where I wanted to spend the next four years of my life. It's a big step for me, for I have never been away from my family, but I am excited to live on my own and be independent. I am ready to start this new chapter of my life.

A Bell

The image of Simone, the 8-year old I babysit, with me on a Sunday afternoon comes to mind when I think of a ringing or unknown bell. . .

There she is, ordering around her younger siblings, telling them how to play a game that she simultaneously creating with her imagination. I see the power and control in her. She orders Noelle, "You stand there and throw to Solo. But you have to throw it hard." Noelle follows her orders and throws the ball.

We are all riding our bikes, down the street, laughing and enjoying the wind in our face. But it's a cloudy day and the sun is hidden. It's going to rain. Yet Simone looks around and states, "It's beautiful out." Though naive to say so, she had unconsciously recognized the natural, pure beauty of the world. Everything was beautiful.

She speeds up. She screams back to me, "I'm going 100 miles per hour!" I chuckled. Her eyes were wide and filled with excitement. I can feel her heart beating in me. She was free and alive.

It's bed time. I dress Noelle and Simone dresses Solo. I put each of them to bed and kiss them good night. But it is Simone who always gets the last word, the last good night kiss, the last "I love you." Her love is so powerful and each day it grows and strengthens. She saw that family was important, that they would always be by your side no matter what.

Now it's her bed time. She's reading her book in bed, flipping page by page, fully immersed in the story. She enters into another world of art, without even knowing it. She knows that "art is life and life is art" (Hannah Goldstein).

She is a lively, ringing bell and she doesn't even know it. She teaches me everything I need to know about life.

I'll miss you!

Yesterday in traffic, returning home from a doctor’s appointment, I began reading excerpts of essays, poems, and written responses from English class. I began telling my mom about how moving English class was with our exploding reading of “Things I Didn’t Know I Loved.” I read the poem, shared why it resonated with me and why the experience in class was so heartrending. I even read my response that I prepared for class. I couldn’t utter how much I loved the class. At one point my mom sarcastically said, “And you thought you hated poetry…” It was pretty ironic that I was reading this poem to my mom because I hadn’t realized that a part of me did love poetry. I always would tell people I hated poetry. Yet here I was stuttering due to my excitement and moving experience I wanted to share. Poetry has never been my favorite, and is always dreaded for homework, but yesterday I realized that I have always had a secret passion for poetry.

Looking though my poetry notebook, I realize that I have written some amazing pieces of analysis due to this secret passion for poetry. Loving something allows you to put more effort into it. Therefore, the analyses of poems that resonated with me are very detailed and well written. I can pinpoint four poems that have been most helpful to me during my study of poetry. The first poem being “The Things I Didn’t Know I Loved.” I learned to appreciate and love the small things I never did a year ago from today. The poet states, “At eighteen our lives are what we value least.” He was right that we don’t appreciate much, but now that I am soon graduating and moving on with my life, I have realized that I am going to miss all these small details that make this my home. I’ll miss coming home to a loud house with my brother’s music blasting and my mom on the phone. I’ll miss sliding across the hardwood floor each time I walk from the mudroom to the kitchen. I’ll miss the mornings I tip-toe into my brother’s or dad’s room to steal their over-sized sweatshirts to wear to school. I’ll miss my four mile run that feels as if I’m running into the wilderness. It’s the small things that I never knew I loved, until I realized that I won’t have these trivial things in my life next year at college. This poem has taught me to appreciate and love. In this case, I never knew I loved poetry.

I realized today that I am going to miss Senior AP English. I am going to miss the poem-a-day and the intellectual, moving discussions we have. I am going to miss the days that I, along with others, try to hold back the tears. I am going to miss the mandatory reading and poetry assignments. AP English has made me a better student and person. I have learned to read and write better, especially in regards to poetry. I have learned how to read and analyze a poem. Looking at my first entry, I notice that I paid too close attention on the particulars and was not able to grasp the larger idea. I was thrown off track several of times in my writing. Now, with plenty of practice and class discussions, I have grown and can write very direct, meaningful responses. I am able to relate the lesson each poem relays to my own life and learn from it. At the beginning of the year I would naturally bypass the lesson the poem is teaching, but now it causes me to reflect and act upon it. I can say poetry was life-changing, but that would be too dramatic. However, I can truthfully say that poetry has affected me positively, especially in this last academic semester. I have discovered that I enjoy reading and hearing poetry, even analyzing it if I find a connection to the poem. I find that analyzing the poem creates a strong bond between me and the poet. It feels as if the poet speaks directly to me—“You must change your life” (“Archaic Torso of Apollo”), “[You] must have/ the stubbornness to accept gladness in the ruthless/ furnace of this world” (“A Brief for the Defense”), “At eighteen our lives are what we value least” (“The Things I Didn’t Know I Loved”). I hope to start reading poetry leisurely because it teaches me how to live my life. I know there is a large chance I won’t continue on with poetry, but I hope I fall in that small chance. I hope my secret passion for poetry will grow stronger, for it will guide me each day of my life.

"Things I Didn't Know I Loved" by Nazim Hikmet

“I know we live slightly longer than a horse but not nearly as long as a crow

I know this has troubled people before

                                 And will trouble those after me

I know all this has been said a thousand times before

                                  And will be said after me”

At a young age we learn to respect and listen to our elders. It becomes natural, a no brainer. I remember being told that "your elders have the best wisdom because they have lived and experienced life.” They have loved, they have regretted, they have sacrificed, they have made mistakes, they have flourished. We only live one life, a certain amount of years, and everyone wants to live it to its fullest, and live it right. But there is no right way to live. My pappou, grandpa in Greek, told me this the other day. We were talking about college and what I want to pursue. He could tell I was troubled and stressed about balancing my studies, activities, family, and friends. He stopped me mid-sentence and told me to take a deep breath, that everything was going to be okay. I inhaled, then exhaled. I did this three times. Before I knew it, my stress level had decreased dramatically. My pappou then tilted my head up, looked me in the eye. He told me, “Life isn’t a bed of roses, but I know you will succeed in anything you do in life because I believe in you, you believe in you, and your family and friends believe in you. I have never seen you put less than 100% effort. And if you make a mistake, learn from it. You only have a certain amount of years to live, don’t waste them.” He repeated that last part again, “You only have a certain amount of years to live, don’t waste them.” This conversation seemed like one I would see in a movie because me and my pappou aren’t too close, but this was real and he was trying to help me live and love my life.

            This senior year was a roller coaster, I had my ups and my downs. I made mistakes, chose not to learn from them, and made the same ones several more times. I was getting to a low, and that is when I learned from my mistakes and began to change. It’s been two months now and now I truly understand what my pappou was telling me. “You only have a certain amount of years to live, don’t waste them.” I want to live my life to its fullest, without regrets. I want to take risks and challenge myself. I want to live a life full of happiness and love. I want to start appreciating even the trivial things in life. That simple thank you for dinner can be seen as a start. That extra effort to say hello or help a friend will only bring love and happiness to me. I want to live a life worth remembering. So, every day I am trying to live by my pappou’s wise words. I am trying to live my life, and not just go through the motions.

Live and Learn

AP English has impacted my year tremendously. I take the class very seriously because a part of it is teaching me how to live. My parents and I have noted a visible change in my thoughts and actions. I have learned that everything is beautiful, no matter how trivial it may seem. I have learned to love and acknowledge my love for something. I am now able to boldly state the things I love. I have learned that love is something so powerful, especially agape. I have learned to open my eyes, to see better. I am afraid that I will not see well and wrong someone I love, but I know that I can only hope for the best and try my hardest. I have learned the implications of power and how it can be misused. I have learned that the wisdom is in the young and it is up to the elderly to take it into account. I have learned that everything is in the particular, and that the small details will forever enlighten and be meaningful. This isn’t even half of what I learned. I cannot put to words everything I have gained from this course, but I know that it has given me hope and inspiration for the next four years in college.

This wasn’t an ordinary Senior English class. It was a lot more. According to my experience in this course, I would name it “Live and Learn.” I have learned so many things that have helped me understand my past, present, and future. It gave me the extra push, hope, and inspiration when I came to my so-called low this year. My life is worth living and I have come to actually believe that. I realize that I have a greater appreciation for the little things, and that I have learned to love these small things. This course helped me see better—myself, others, and everything surrounding me. I am ready to put what I have learned into action, without the guidance of my fellow classmates and Mr. Berger-White. I will truly miss this class.