Columbine #1--Female Down

April 20, 1999, a tragic day, a day full of fear, doubt, blood, tears, surprise, rejoice, hope, smiles, and unity. I didn't know much about this day. I was five years old, therefore I don't remember anything and I never researched it. All I knew was that it was one of the biggest, planned, and surprising school shootings in the nation. This novel by Dave Cullen has taught me about the school shooting, and has reeled me in with every page I have read so far. The suspense and historical aspect intrigues me so much.

I really liked the opening to the novel. It provided a type of foreshadow to the big shooting. The principal gathered the school for an assembly to remind them to make wise choices during homecoming weekend. He wanted to see everyone's faces the next morning on Monday. By being proactive and making this speech, he reminded the school that they were a family. He didn't want any tragic stories, he wanted everyone to return back to their family, Columbine. His speech was so touching and heart-warming, yet effective, that it truly set the rest of the novel up. It set up the novel for the tragic, surprise school shooting.

Next, the novel focused on two figures, Eric and Dylan. These were the school shooters. No one would have known. They were so-called normal high school kids. Eric was described as a "cool brain. he smoked, he drank, he dated. He got invited to parties. He got high. he worked his look hard. . . He broke the rules, tagged himself with the nickname reb, but did his homework and earned himself a slew of As. And he got chicks. Lots and lots of chicks" (6). Eric seems normal, not depressed, not angry, not crazy. He was a normal high schooler with responsibilities that also knew how to have fun! Then there was Dylan who was "meek, self-conscious, and authentically shy. he could barely speak in front of a stranger, especially a girl. . . Dylan Klebold was a brain, too, but not quite so cool. . . He saw the worst version of himself" (7). Dylan beat himself up and wasn't like Eric, yet they were still best friends. Dylan is just shyer, especially with Eric by his side. But none of this shows that he could have been a shooter. They were two typical kids. When Cullen was  introducing them, it was just so hard to picture them conspiring against the whole school, against their friends. How did they come to this? Why did they want to do this? How did they hide everything?

The next thing that surprised me were the plans for the "Judgment Day." How did two kids, at the age of 17 plan such a horrific event? How did they plan it so detailed? They truly thought about everything. How to make the bombs, where to set them, when to trigger them, how the day would pass. They split their plan into three phases. The first, which never occurred due to dumb errors, was a bomb in the commons, acting as a decoy. They had detailed drawings of everything. Eric was the mastermind to this plan and even wanted to "watch the library and its inhabitants crash down upon the flaming lunchers" (33). Phase two was the phase Eric and Dylan were "savoring. It was also when they expected to die. They had little hope of witnessing act 3" (34). They would be firing at classmates and teachers point blank. This would be the killing spree they had been wanting and planning for the past year and a half, and they weren't going to mess it up. Everything was perfectly planned, down to the minute. I would turn the page and only 3 minutes had gone by on that day. Everything was in increments, so carefully planned. It amazed me how two kids could plan this so well, by themselves. HOW??? And how did they follow through with it? The killing seemed so casual, so mechanical. Cullen wrote how they "shared a whole lot of hoots and howls and hearty laughs. What a freaking wild time" (46). To find it as a fun time, is disturbing! Killing people is fun?? But how? And how did they seem so normal on the outside, if they are clearly messed up kids who have the desire to kill?

What struck me though were all the different reactions. The police were in awe and trying to label the situation and take hold of it. They tried to hold themselves together in order to support the community and control the situation. Most parents were a wreck, trying to find out if their children were alive. To be in a parent's shoes at that time would be heart-breaking and nerve-wrecking. All the parent could do is wait. Then there are the children inside, panicking, trying to find cover, trying to make sense of what is happening. Many called the police and news reporters to tell them information. So many were injured, some even dead. But throughout the whole shooting, the teachers were supportive and led the students to safety. This reminded me of all the fire drills throughout the year. The teachers and students have to take them seriously because you never know what will happen, just like those at Columbine didn't know.

My first impression of this novel, after reading the first section is awe and amazement, along with sadness. How can two students plan such an act and commit such a deed?